good question.. i would go back to 1990 because that was the very beginning for me.. for so many things! and both my black labs were alive and healthy.. it would be an experience.. IF only it could be done!

tomorrow i will hit 1000 days sober.. i know it is just another day,, but.. damn! that is a LOT of days. i almost can't believe it,, PEACE!

13 years ago today i quit a job that was very important to me for 2 big years of my life..it was a time of soul searching and struggle with pot smoking (on and off) and drinking.. it was a time when i was down on my luck and scared that maybe i could no longer go on.. it was a time when i was very alone in the world.. it gave me hope and strength and friends.. in a way it very much SAVED my life.. 13 years ago today i said goodbye to that chapter of my life and turned the page..

it is what it is.. we had some BIG thunderstorms roll through the area last night.. MANY trees down in the area.. but.. we got lucky in our neighborhood! my dad just recently turned 69.. i still have trouble believing it. where has the time gone?  this next month marks 10 years me and paula have owned our house..

i have been pluggin along.. still sober just passed the 2 and a half year marker.. still working.. i'm gonna start re-reading  thomas harris's "Hannibal" again.. it was GREAT the first time!  i hope all my "friends" are doing well.. peace..

getting close to 2 and a half years now.. this year was different than last year.. paula and i went over to visit the parents and bob and barb and aunt helen (breeann as well) we had a nice dinner visit came home and shot off fireworks (not the GREATEST) but.. for fountains not bad.. the new next door neighbors had a bash w/ their relatives.. all day.. it looked like rain most of the day.. but.. was a sunny ending!

i am glad that it is summer.. i think now that i've been sober a little while i am more content with just being O.K. things are good enough right now.. they don't have to be GREAT. we had a meeting a couple days ago about keeping our fears in check.. it was a powerful message and god's presence was there.. no doubt about it. i have a few friends in A.A. now.. it is a good thing. i am just another bozo on the bus.. and that's O.K. with me.. 

going to be in the 40's again tonight.. this shit is weird with the weather.. at least it was sunny today. i guess we get more rain tomorrow(again) many gloomy rainy days lately it seems. found a new song i like from SAVING ABLE "drowning facedown"  i've listened to it on the radio a few times and just caught the name today while i was out walking with my headphones on.. so rare to like any new music for me.. ODAAT staying sober and living my life..

i heard this at my group on friday and i liked it.. A.A. has been saving my ass again and again lately.. the weather seems kind of strange for this time of the year.. i'm really starting to think it may be a COOL summer temp wise.. the restaurant is still hanging tuff in west michigan's economic hell..

this past mothers day my sponsor curly died. well over 30 years sober.. a GREAT guy.. i will miss him.. so far our weather has been on the cool side.. i'm starting to think we may be in for a COOLISH type summer. i hope the redwings and blackhawks is gonna be as good a match up as i think it will!

that depends.. i would like to believe a LONG time! but.. maybe not so long..

lately my morning home group meetings have been OUTSTANDING.. some of the BEST A.A. i've ever experienced.. not really sure why.. could be the different mix of people (the people DO make the meeting after all) but regardless of the reason they have been excellent! i'm in the middle of another 4th step just now.. adding a bit more depth to the thing this time. i'm not sure of A LOT of things.. but.. i do know that  my #1 priority has NOT changed.. STAYING SOBER ODAAT! because without that.. NOTHING ELSE MATTERS!!!! and it is what it is..

nothing like a cold michigan winter to make you aware of how much you missed it being WARM outside!  soon it will be nice EVERY DAY and then.. it will be summer.. then it will be TOO HOT!!! i really hope for the best with the restaurant.. so far so good.. business is picking up a little so that is good (right now) i gotta find a good deal on tires for the mustang soon. so far my sponsee has not called me (no surprise there) the devils SMOKED the canes in game #1! i don't think the series will be quite that easy though.. peace!

well, ready or not.. i had a guy yesterday ask me to be his sponsor.. i told him very honestly that i don't know a real LOT and A.A. is all about LEARNING and i still have a LOT to learn.. he still wanted my help so i said sure.. i'm just hoping i can help. i'm not at all sure i can handle a sponsee. i pray i will be a decent first sponsor.. only "2" regular season games remain.. GO DEVILS!!!!

well.. it IS michigan and we have been lucky for some time now.. but, still i awoke to see LOTS of it falling and said SHIT! mom and dad are returning from florida inside of a month from now. talked with them last weekend.. got my haircut from amanda yesterday moring before work and she did a nice job. my brother and his family are all relocated to their new rental house.. now i just want the weather to get WARMER!!!!

i think it's pretty clear.. alcoholism.. and recovery from it!

o.k. soooo... we made through another michigan winter.. the last part was surprisingly WEAK! :-)  an old friend is dead.. but.. i am still ALIVE and SOBER! if i drop my guard and pick up a drink.. no matter what.. i KNOW with "0" doubt my life will turn to SHIT and i will be LUCKY if i live through it.. i am alive and sober only through god's grace. with all the stress and nonsense that is going on all around us these days it has been a struggle some days to maintain my serenity.. without regular meetings  i know i would not have made it. NHL play offs are just around the corner.. :-) peace!

i am not sure that i am a better person.. i am however, a  sober person.. 

this guy was an old friend from WAY back.. i know he had been trying for a few years to get his sobriety going.. i would see him at the club from time to time. just a few weeks ago he looked fine.. found out this morning he died today.. went on another drinking spree and died. what a sad, sad thing.. he was only 43. 

i scored "4" touchdowns in a SINGLE game in high school football!!!!! i was GREAT!!!